CHILD DISCIPLINE VS CHILD ABUSE
I can only remember my dad beating me twice and both times, in my opinion, undeservedly. One was when he thought I messed up his TV the other was when he thought I lied, something he detested so much.
There must have been some minor beatings in between but those are the two heavy ones I can remember. Maybe they are not heavy; I probably retain both incidents in my mind because of the injustice.
What I do remember quite clearly is the fact that he would make us spread our hands, just like when Jesus was crucified, and would be watching to make sure they didn’t come down too low for some relief. Anytime the hands dropped we were sternly instructed to take them back up.
My mom did not really have time to give us extended discipline like Dad did; she would slap you with her palm, hit you with some objects she could readily lay her hands on and stuff like that. She hit on us, not as intense as dad did but more often than dad
We were beaten for various offences ranging from lying to leaving the house without informing them of where we were going, which sometimes was to play football, table tennis or just to hang out with our friends. For the benefit of American readers football in this case is what you call soccer and table tennis is ping pong, I just feel more comfortable calling them what I did because I believe those terms are more appropriate, that is a topic for another day.Another thing that was big on the “don’t do” lists of my parents is disrespect. Something that I still have going today. If someone is older than you where I come from you don’t call them names without a prefix such as “brother” “sister” sounds like broda and sista.
Naturally, having gone through life trained by my parents I am big on respect too and I have no qualms addressing anyone as broda or sista or saying sir to anyone and I personally do not see that as a big deal.
I witnessed a lot of guys who would fight with their older brothers or sisters, using bottles in some instances, that never happened in my house, not one incident that I can remember. The one that I follow in terms of hierarchy is a female and once I fought with her, I was beaten and made to call her sista Funke from thereon, I still call her that and I enjoy doing so and I feel some sense of pride that I respect my sister that much. There’s nothing wrong in being humble.
My dad had 11 children, one died before I was born so there were ten of us left. Now if you ask me if that discipline made us richer or more successful than other children, the answer is no, did it make us better individuals in the sense of not having trouble with the law and not doing anything that will bring shame to our parents’ name, I will say yes.
I am not saying we turned out to be angels, some of us smoked, some of us had kids before graduating from high school and some of us had one or two stints with the law, but over all I can tell you categorically that we did fine.
Now am I saying corporal punishment is the only answer to making your children turn out to be good citizens? The answer is no, it is not the only way to make children better adults. Is the absence of corporal punishment in the best interest of the child? My answer to that question will also be no. Should state interfere in the upbringing of children by their parents? My answer will be to some extent.
You may call me an animal or a brute or uncivilized, whatever name catches your fancy will be ok with me but I want to make a categorical statement here, I support, 100%, disciplining your kids when it is obvious a very strong statement needed to be made and I believe the state has no right whatsoever to interfere where the punishment is not over the board.
I believe in it so much that I started dated the mother of my children simply because she believed in it too and her predecessors, in terms of my affection that is, seem pretty easy, I didn’t want anyone that feels like slightly touching the kids to punish them is wrong. That is how big it is with me.
Why do I believe in punishing the kids? Because it is natural, so natural the bible endorses it:
Proverbs 13:24 (King James Version)
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.Proverbs 19:18 (King James Version)
Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Proverbs 22:15 (King James Version)
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 (King James Version)
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Proverbs 23:14 (King James Version)
14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 29:15 (King James Version)
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Hebrews 12:6-7 (King James Version)
6For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Now someone who claimed to be a Christian and who do not see wisdom in these verses needs to examine his or her faith.
I read an article by someone who said when his dad was beating him, at a stage he held the belt he was being beaten with and told his dad “there is a limit to my endurance” then he walked away. I wonder what would have happened if his dad had gone after him and give him more beatings, would he have fought his dad? I guess that would have been so very civilized.
Having said that, I am not saying that cutting the child with razor and putting peppers on his/her skin like a Nigerian lecturer was alleged to have done is proper, if you ask me that was absolutely crazy, but normal spanking for an obvious wrong, in my book, can never be wrong.
I should like to say that the state itself is hypocritical in the sense that the state recognizes the fact that an offensive act must be punished, including something that is as harmless as not obeying speed limit. Just ask yourself, how many people will desist from breaking the law if the offensive conduct is not sanctioned either by a fine or some time in prison?
If corporal punishment is wrong what makes locking a human being in a cage like an animal right?
In conclusion, I will leave you with the video of Dr. Julia Hare. I do not agree with her conclusion in the sense that she says not punishing the kids was aimed against blacks and should be resisted. The law affects anyone that breaks it, be he/she black, white or yellow. Unless it is apparently excessive, I don’t think punishing one’s child should be the government’s business because when that child turns out bad the government will not hesitate to put him/her in prison.
