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August 27, 2007

Why I'm fleeing South Africa

Nigerian Guardian Mon. Aug. 27

By Anne Paton
I AM leaving South Africa. I have lived here for 35 years, and I shall leave with anguish. My home and my friends are here, but I am terrified. I know I shall be in trouble for saying so, because I am the widow of Alan Paton. Fifty years ago he wrote Cry, The Beloved Country. He was an unknown schoolmaster and it was his first book, but it became a bestseller overnight. It was eventually translated into more than 20 languages and became a set book in schools all over the world. It has sold more than 15 million copies and still sells 100,000 copies a year.
As a result of the startling success of this book, my husband became famous for his impassioned speeches and writings, which brought to the notice of the world the suffering of the black man under apartheid. He campaigned for Nelson Mandela's release from prison and he worked all his life for black majority rule. He was incredibly hopeful about the new South Africa that would follow the end of apartheid, but he died in 1988, aged 85. I was so sorry he did not witness the euphoria and love at the time of the election in 1994. But I am glad he is not alive now. He would have been so distressed to see what has happened to his beloved country.
I love this country with a passion, but I cannot live here any more. I can no longer live slung about with panic buttons and gear locks. I am tired of driving with my car windows closed and the doors locked, tired of being
afraid of stopping at red lights. I am tired of being constantly on the alert, having that sudden frisson of fear at the sight of a shadow by the gate, of a group of youths approaching - although nine times out of 10
they are innocent of harmful intent. Such is the suspicion that dogs us all.
Among my friends and the friends of my friends, I know of nine people who have been murdered in the past four years. An old friend, an elderly lady, was raped and murdered by someone who broke into her home for no reason at all; another was shot at a garage. We have a saying, "Don't fire the gardener", because of the belief that it is so often an inside job - the gardener who comes back and does you in.
All this may sound like paranoia, but it is not without reason. I have been hijacked, mugged and terrorised. A few years ago my car was taken from me at gunpoint. I was forced into the passenger seat. I sat there frozen. But
just as one man jumped into the back and the other fumbled with the starter I opened the door and ran away. To this day I do not know how I did this.
But I got away, still clutching my handbag.
On May 1 this year I was mugged in my home at three in the afternoon. I used to live in a community of big houses with big grounds in the countryside. It's still beautiful and green, but the big houses have been knocked down and people have moved into fenced complexes like the one in which I now live. Mine is in the suburbs of Durban, but they're springing up everywhere. That afternoon I came home and omitted to close the security door. I went upstairs to lie down. After a while I thought I'd heard a noise, perhaps a bird or something. Without a qualm I got up and went to the landing; outside was a man. I screamed and two other men appeared. I was seized by the throat and almost throttled; I could feel myself losing consciousness.
My mouth was bound with Sellotape and I was threatened with my own knife (Girl Guide issue from long ago) and told: "If you make a sound, you die." My hands were tied tightly behind my back and I was thrown into the guest room and the door was shut. They took all the electronic equipment they could find, except the computer. They also, of course, took the car. A few weeks later my new car was locked up in my fenced carport when I was woken by its alarm in the early hours of the morning. The thieves had removed the radio, having cut through the padlocks in order to bypass the electric control on the gates. The last straw came a few weeks ago, shortly before my 71st birthday. I returned home in the middle of the afternoon and walked into my sitting room. Outside the window two men were breaking in. I retreated to the hall
and pressed the panic alarm.
This time I had shut the front door on entering. By now I had become more cautious. Yet one of the men ran around the house, jumped over the fence and tried to batter down the front door. Meanwhile, his accomplice was breaking my sitting- room window with a hammer. This took place while the sirens were shrieking, which was the frightening part. They kept coming, in broad daylight, while the alarm was going. They knew that there had to be a time lag of a few minutes before help arrived - enough time to dash off with the television and video recorder. In fact, the front-door assailant was caught and taken off to the cells.
Recently I telephoned to ask the magistrate when I would be called as a witness. She told me she had let him off for lack of evidence. She said that banging on my door was not an offence, and how could I prove that his intent was hostile? I have been careless in the past - razor wire and electric gates give one a feeling of security. Or at least, they did. But I am careless no longer. No fence - be it electric or not - no wall, no razor wire is really a deterrent to the determined intruder. Now my alarm is on all the time and my panic button hung round my neck. While some people say I have been unlucky, others say: "You are lucky not to have been raped or murdered." What kind of a society is this where one is considered "lucky" not to have been raped or murdered - yet?
A character in Cry, The Beloved Country says: "I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." And so it has come to pass. There is now more racial tension in this country than I have ever known. But it is not just about black-on-white crime. It is about general lawlessness. Black people suffer more than the whites. They do not have access to private security firms, and there are no police stations near them in the townships and rural areas. They are the victims of most of the hijackings, rapes and murders. They cannot run away like the whites, who are streaming out of this country in their thousands.
President Mandela has referred to us who leave as "cowards" and says the country can do without us. So be it. But it takes a great deal of courage to uproot and start again. We are leaving because crime is rampaging through
the land. The evils that beset this country now are blamed on the legacy of apartheid. One of the worst legacies of that time is that of the Bantu Education Act, which deliberately gave black people an inferior education.
The situation is exacerbated by the fact that criminals know that their chances of being caught are negligible; and if they are caught they will be free almost at once. So what is the answer? The government needs to get its priorities right. We need a powerful, well-trained and well-equipped
police force. Recently there was a robbery at a shopping centre in the afternoon. A call to the police station elicited the reply: "We have no transport." "Just walk then," said the caller; the police station is about a two-minute sprint from the shop in question. "We have no transport," came the reply again. Nobody arrived.
There is a quote from my husband's book:"Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much." What has changed in half a century? A lot of people who were convinced that everything would be all right are disillusioned, though they don't want to admit it.
The government has many excellent schemes for improving the lot of the black man, who has been disadvantaged for so long. A great deal of money is
spent in this direction. However, nothing can succeed while people live in such fear. Last week, about 10km from my home, an old couple were taken out and murdered in the garden. The wife had only one leg and was in a wheelchair. Yet they were stabbed and strangled - for very little money. They were thesecond old couple to be killed last week. It goes on and on, all the time;
we have become a killing society.
As I prepare to return to England, a young man asked me the other day, in all innocence, if things were more peaceful there. "You see," he said, "I know of no other way of life than this. I cannot imagine anything different." What a tragic statement on the beloved country today. "Because the white man has power, we too want power," says Msimangu. "But when a black man gets power, when he gets money, he is a great man if he is not corrupted. I have seen it often. He seeks power and money to put right what is wrong, and when he gets them, why, he enjoys the power and the money.
Now he can gratify his lusts, now he can arrange ways to get white man's liquor. I see only one hope for our country, and that is when white men and black men, desiring neither power nor money, but desiring only the good of their country, come together to work for it. I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they are turned to loving, they will find we are turned to hating.
  • This article by widow of famous South African author, Alan Paton,was first published in the London Sunday Times.

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August 23, 2007

I NEED A BAD GIRL

I have seen on TV and read in some newspapers some people thinking some words should be banned while others think banning words would offend the provisions of the constitution that guarantees freedom of speech. I have expressed my view in another article as to whether or not banning the “N” word would offer any kind of solution to the black people’s problems or should I say self esteem.
 
Just when I was getting done with the article a council woman in NY started advocating for a ban of the “B” word. I saw this on television and she was asked what I regarded a very appropriate question, “if you ban the word “bitch” what would you call a female dog?”
 
Shakespeare wondered in Romeo and Juliet “what’s in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” in case this doesn’t make sense, I think it does, then let’s turn it around “what’s in a  name? that which we call shit a rose would smell as bad. No matter what you choose to call something sweet or bad such things will retain their real essence.

 

This issue of names together with the philosophy of positive thinking is the reason why some people claim you are what you call yourself, some people believe so much in the positive thinking philosophy as well as power in spoken words. I am a realist and naturally do not believe in either of these two concepts and I will tell you why:
 
Let’s take the “you are what you call yourself” example. Let us assume someone wants to take up a nickname and he decided to call himself Gorilla, would that make him or make him act like a Gorilla, essentially do all Gorillas act the same way, what makes a Gorilla a Gorilla?
 
Now to the power in the word philosophy: assuming someone has been diagnosed with a terminal disease for which there’s no cure, would saying he would live to be old make the person get to an old age, assuming such an individual is a teenager?
 
I am one of those who believe that you are what you are regardless of what people call you or you call yourself, nothing and no one can change your essence. I therefore have no problem with words and some of the bad words are just a mere distraction, at any rate who decides when a word is bad or good, words that are bad in one culture may mean direct opposite in another culture. If you are a Nigerian or close to one perhaps you have heard of the story of two friends, one visited the other’s village and it was time for introduction.

 

In the normal Yoruba language a friend is “ore”, a cutlass is “ada” and one’s mom could be “iya” or “mama” etc. In the friend’s village a friend is “ota” which in normal Yoruba means “enemy and mom is “ada” which, like I said earlier, in normal Yoruba is “cutlass” You can imagine the friend’s horror when his friend said “ota mi de, ada mi da?” which in his own dialect means “my friend is here, where’s my mom” but which in normal Yoruba would translate to “my enemy is here, where’s my cutlass?”

 

I read about the power of the word in old Egyptian culture where it was claimed that a curse, which consist of spoken words, could remain potent for thousand of years. I am not approving or disapproving this assertion. To my mind intention is what matters most, and to me the most important thing is for one to keep one’s eyes on one’s goal and work tirelessly to achieve it or them, if you have goals that is.
 
And talking of goal, life is not a roller coaster, that is one thing that we all will realize at one time or the other. Making it in life is most times not a matter of planning; just when you think you have everything wrapped up something jumps out of no where and mess up one’s plans, therefore not all goals will be realized.
 
I have seen people plan for old age only to die young and I have heard young girls dream of a family only for their hands not to be asked for in marriage. People talk of how many children they want to have ending up having none or more than envisaged. Life blows the whistle on us sometime or the other.
 
Human beings must play God, we want to have situations under our control we love that role despite the fact that we are quick to concede it to God, we proclaim leaving everything to God yet checkmating him every opportunity we have. When things are not going our ways we turn to God in prayer, submitting to his wills yet bending him to ours, thy will be done is a very strange concept when humans want something that they want God to help them with.
 
So with the concept of positive word and leaving everything to God in sight I go to the main focus of this article, what people call us, what we call ourselves and what we are, that being the first part, the second part is how we end up despite what we are called or what we call ourselves.
 
I love music, I have said that several times that some people must be bored hearing me say it, the reason why I’m saying it is because I know most music but do not really care that much about who sang them. Sometimes you are at the club and the DJ is playing all sort of music with view of getting people on the dance floor and no one is dancing, then he plays a music like “I want a bad bitch, yes, if you’re a bad bitch” and the dance floor suddenly become over populated. You see people, especially the women, jump on the dance floor in a jiffy, you then wonder if most women regard themselves as bad bitches.
 
Our parents, especially in Africa, for whatever reason failed and are still failing to educate children in terms of relationship and sex. As a matter of fact children are brought up to look at sex as a taboo, something that cannot be discussed and something that one must not indulge in. if your parents are religious, especially Christians and Muslims, then sex is a sure vehicle and direct highway to hell.

 

These teachings are responsible for dismal performance of some women in the bedroom, labeling some sexual activities as being dirty, failing to get their partners to the desirable height. To some people, no matter how good you are, when you fail in that department you are expendable. Some people grow up to overcome this and of course they are the “bad girls”
 

 

The good girls are brought up to follow a certain pertain, they are expected to desist from certain things that are sure to mess up their lives. Good girls don’t drink, smoke or use drugs. Good girls don’t have sex until a man comes around and properly ask for their hands in marriage. Good girls don’t go running after men nor are they dressed like hookers or prostitutes or whores or whatever name you want to give to a profession that is said to be the oldest profession in the world.
 
When a good girl gets married, she is supposed to obey her husband, take whatever he dishes out and recognize him as the lord and master of the house even when he isn’t man enough to deserve that position. She is expected to keep her composure when her husband is talking to or should I say talking at her. Worse case scenario, even when she is abused she is supposed to take whatever injuries she is afflicted with, be it physical, mental and if you believe in the spiritual then that one too.
 
Good girl is supposed to make sure, at whatever cost, that her marriage stands the test of time, even when the husband is a drunkard, a womanizer, adulterer; I guess you have to womanize to commit adultery, maybe we should treat that as one and the same. On top of that she is supposed to hold on even if he’s an abuser.
 
What is the rationale behind staying in a relationship that is not only killing you physically, mentally and if you are spiritual, spiritually too? The children, the golden children, children who must be shielded from the bad things that seem to be inherent in life, so they could turn out to be better people in future, after all, they are our future, leaders of tomorrow and we must bring them up to be leaders of tomorrow, not just leaders but worthy leaders.
 
If any of those children are female, they are to be brought up to be like their moms, accepting whatever their husbands  dish out and the boys of course are supposed to take after daddies, the head of the family behaving as if the head is cut off.
 
Bad girls are girls that don’t really give a damn about conventional things. When they want a man they go after him, sometimes regardless of the fact that such men are married.
 
Bad girls are dressed to kill, showing off essential parts of the body, leaving little to the imagination. Bad girls drink, smoke and party like there’s no tomorrow, they are example of what a girl is not supposed to be.
 
Sexually, bad girls are well versed in the act and would do a whole lot of things with the man’s body that will make the good girls puke. Some bad girls are so bad that they have kids even before they are out of high school; they are not the kind of girls you would ask your daughter to look at as role models.
 
Ordinarily, the good girls having conducted themselves in a way that society dictates, by conforming to the rules as laid down by moral experts, are supposed to reap the fruits of their obedience by netting the best husbands in the market. But is that always the case?
 
I have seen bad girls have children that turned out to be every mom’s dream despite their mom’s short comings and I have seen the good girls give birth to the worst kind of specie that makes you wonder where they got them.
 
I have seen a bad girl net the most eligible bachelor in the market while the good girl clutch her bible and go to every service available at the church praying for a good husband. I have seen a good girl get married only to lose her man to the bad girl.
 
We fail to realize that we must live our lives according to what has been predestined regardless of how we turn out and definitely regardless of what we or other people perceive us to be, if you believe in destiny you could say there’s no changing it.

 

Regardless of what we are called the ultimate decision maker is God and who is good and who is bad is according to his definition, not ours. He has written the book of our lives in conformity of which we just play our role as written, which is probably why Shakespeare said in “As You Like It”:

 

“All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts, …”
 
We sure love to leave everything to God but we intend to get it all back through prayers. I am not advocating for girls to be bad but then that depends on what you term bad. If you term being able to satisfy a man bad, if you term being confident about yourself and being sexual and erotic as bad then of course I would rather be with a bad girl. I am not also saying a bad girl gets it all or that she would make heaven but the decision as to who does and who doesn’t rest with God who I believe gave us all the organs that we possess for a reason and using it to the dictate of nature to me can not be bad. A little imagination in the bedroom won’t hurt anyone either.
If being bad is satisfying your partner, then I say be as bad as you can!

 

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August 15, 2007

Open Letter to President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN – AUGUST 14, 2007 Nigerians for Super Energy a grassroots campaign for energy sends an open letter to President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua of Nigeria.

 

 

Open Letter to President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua

 

 

Dear Mr. President:

 

We are writing in support of your Energy goals for Nigeria. We believe that Nigeria should become a “Super Energy Power”. You rightly said so on June 11, 2007 and we quote “As I keep saying, we cannot begin to address, in a fundamental manner, the problems of the economy, until we successfully tackle the power and energy issue. It is critical to all my plans. So I am more interested in how much gas we can tap for domestic use than what we can get for export. We must power this economy,” Mr. President as you know, we have a very sick patient, "Nigerian Energy"; we need world class surgeons to lead this effort no more nurses. No disrespect to my mom she was a nurse for over 40 years!! And when you sign the FOI (Freedom of Information) bill you will have about 100m + eyes helping to monitor the progress of the projects. Mr. President below is our humble suggestions for radically changing our energy strategy.

 

Fuel Plan
24 Refineries in a National/Publicly traded oil company with global reach is what we need!!!
They say imitation is a form of flattery. If so, Nigeria needs to look to Venezuelans to reform its fuel sector. Due to the policies of Venezuelan oil company, PDVSA, the Venezuelans are able to enjoy $0.19 per gallon or N6.12. The Venezuelan oil company, PDVSA, had decided that it was not the crude oil export business but in the global petroleum and chemical business. So they invested in refining and retail business in Venezuela and almost all their export markets. Today PDVSA processes 3.3m barrels per day through 24 refineries: six complexes in Venezuela, one in the Caribbean, eight in the United States and nine in Europe. The Brazilian Oil company, Petrobras is another example. This company is renowned for its leadership in development of advanced technology from deep-water and ultra-deep water oil production. With 55.7% of Petrobras' Common Shares (with vote right) is owned by the Brazilian government, however privately held portions are traded on Bovespa stock market .On April 21st of 2006, President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva  announced Brazil's self-sufficiency in petroleum. Mr. President please seek counsel of the architects of PDVSA, Mr. Putin and/or Silva to see what they are doing.  We recommend three strategic steps to revolutionize our oil sector.
1. NNPC should be come a government/public firm with part of it shares allocated for Nigerians. This will provide the company with a new direction and ownership need for the global challenges.
2. NNPC should go on a buying spree with the aid of government funds to buy (outright or major) shares in refineries in Africa, China and United States. This will provide us with immediate source of refined products, opportunities to train our people and hard currency. Best of all this does not need the 18 to 24 months to build a refinery. This will also provide us a stop gag measure until we build more refineries. It is all about add value and we need to start doing that.
3. Start building 4 refineries and retail outlets to take care of the local demand as estimated for 2010. This will help put to rest the fuel challenges that we face as a Nation.

 

Electrical Plan
50,000 megawatts in a well planned power grid is what we need!!!
Why 50,000 Megawatts? Given our population, the goals (15,000MW, 20,000MW, and 30,000MW) currently proposed in different political and business circles does not take care of latent electrical demand. In 1999 we estimated a goal of 4,000mw and 5,600mw, we have reached those goals but still not able to survive disruptions to the power grid. South Africa with a population of 47M generates 36,000MW, Brazil population 188M generates 90,000MW and South Korea population 49M generates 43,833MW. Nigeria with a population of 140M would need to generate 67,021MW to be at par with Brazil the lowest per capita among the three countries. Based on the current estimates of 10,000mw in current or in progress, we will need 40, 000mw to complete our goal. This translates in 1,100mw per state and Abuja. Yes we know some states may not be able to generate this amount due to logistic or cost can join with other states to meet their goal. Some states like Lagos will need double or triple that amount. Using current estimates we believe that we need $29 billion for completion of the goal which about $15 billion should come from the Federal government.
1. The plan would call for part of excess revenue funds to be invested in power generation and transmission.
2. All sates, Abuja and Local governments must contribute a percentage of their net worth to the projects. Land for projects will be provided by state and local governments.
3. All banks must invest a percentage of their net worth. Corporations and individual investors will be encouraged to invest in the projects with a strong push for public stock participation.
4. All companies must provide free electricity and cooking gas to local communities.
5. Alternate sources must be encouraged,  At least one coal power station in Enugu with similar capacity of Tutuka, South Africa 6x609 MW. This should be part of the sale of 13 mining titles belonging to the Nigerian Mining Corporation.
6. Gas and oil pipeline should have backup points. We must be able to ship gas or oil to Lagos; after all we ship it to the ends of the world. Our pipe line should be like a Hydra (multi-head monster) that will allow for maintenance without totally shorting down the country.
7. Implement widespread adoption of CFLs (Compact Fluorescent Lights) and other energy saving programs. CFLs save about four times more energy compare to regular lights.
8. Last but not least, industries using gas for energy will be given gas for free or token price.

We are calling on all Nigerians to wear copper colored ribbon (similar to the AIDS ribbon) and March for a Global NNPC with 24 refineries and a 50,000 megawatts power grid. Mr. President since you understand the challenge, we are ready to give you 100% support to make these changes. If the energy issues in Nigeria are solved, a lot of Nigerian lives will be astronomically improved. We call upon all religious, traditional and civic leaders to join Mr. President for 40 days of prayer and fasting for success.

 

God Bless Nigeria!!!!

 

###

 

 

Nigerians for Super Energy is a grassroots campaign aimed at supporting the need for energy in Nigeria and the sub region. 35% of all black people in the world need energy to improve their daily lives.

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August 06, 2007

A GENTLEMAN OR A THUG, A LADY OR A FREAK

Growing up in Lagos, I saw a whole lot of relationships that beat my imagination. You expect girls to want to be with the gentle guys, you know, guys that are always doing the right thing. Guys who are obedient to their parents, ones who are interested in education and that always stay out of trouble, but is it always that way? No.

 
There was this chap that was always at KINGS CINEMA on Lewis Street, that was the street I grew up on. We loved going to the movies even when we had no money, all you had to do was wait till the movies were half way, then the guard’s go ahead to go in provided you were willing to carry the posters in, the posters were on some sort of boards usually placed in front of the theater.
 
There were always people around even when the movies have started playing. Someone tapped into that situation by putting a soccer game machine in front of the theater. The game was such that four people can play it, two on each side. So you have a situation where some of us got really good at it and didn’t have to pay because someone was always willing to learn and will insert the coins to free the balls. Usually guys like this will solicit expertise of some of us that had gotten really good to man their defense so they can enjoy their game.
 
The were some other guys who weren’t really good but were always down for trouble regardless of the end result, they were not afraid to shed blood nor did they care if theirs were shed, those guys get to play whether or not you wanted them on your side. Once the balls roll out they were ready to play, your feeling or opinion did not count. One of such guys was TETE, a guy that will not think twice before putting a broken bottle part in your system. He never put any money in the machine but you can be sure he will play all night, you better chose him to be your partner or you weren’t playing.
 
This guy had a girlfriend that was absolutely gorgeous. This girl was the kind of girl you want to be seen with, the kind of girl that makes you walk a foot taller with swollen head. She was not too dark and that is not to say dark skin girls are not beautiful, some of the ebony sisters are dark and shinny, just like a well prepared chocolate and some taste as sweet. She had almost a perfect figure, not too fat not too thin, somewhere in between with a great smile that highlighted almost perfect set of teeth.
 
She had the kind of buttocks that makes you want to grab them and just hold them all night long and when you see her coming from a distance, watching the rise and fall of her bosoms you are likely to go on your knees praying for such a lady in your life. If you think you have seen it all wait till she starts speaking, she had the kind of voice that can keep you on the phone all night long not minding the fact that you had to be up early the following day. She was almost a perfect damsel.
 
The guy on the other hand did not really have anything going for him, seldom dressed right, hair un-kept and you don’t have to look too hard to see the dirt underneath his nails. He had all sort of marks on his body, evidence of numerous bottle and knife fights. He was short about 5’2, if not shorter, and as dark as a black paint, he was as mean if not meaner than the devil and that was this beautiful girl’s boyfriend.
 
I don’t know what such a girl would do to anyone that will make you want to beat the living day light out of her but that precisely was what she got on a particular Sunday evening.
 
Her boyfriend was busy playing the soccer game as usual when the lady showed up. I saw her coming from a distance and naturally got distracted. I had the ball and was trying to figure out how to go around my opponent who was very good with the game too. I looked up and there she was walking majestically across the street towards us. Her boyfriend, whose back was towards the direction she was coming from, must have wondered what was holding my attention because his hard emotionless voice brought me to the task at hard “are you going to play or look at a piece of p..sy all night?” he asked. I shamefully redirected my attention to the game at hand flustered.
 
What happened next ended the game. The girl had come up to him and demanded to have a word with him. “Can’t you see I’m busy or have you added blindness to your stupidity?” he replied by way of answer to her request to see him. “I just want to talk to you for a few minutes” she pleaded. “You need to get your stupid as. away from me” he warned menacingly.
 
When she would not go, and him feeling that she was distracting him from the game at hand, pushed her away after a big slap that sounded like gunfire. She got angry too and said something insulting to him while she was walking away, maybe she shouldn’t have done that knowing the kind of boyfriend she had. He ran after her, jerked her around and proceeded to beat the living daylight out of her. As if he had not had enough he tore her dress and gave everyone present and passers bye an eyeful, which I am sure they were shamelessly grateful for.
 
I had thought after that incident that that was the end of that relationship, how wrong. About 3 or 4 days after I saw them together with his arm around her shoulder as if they were the best lovers in the world. It made me wonder why a girl that beautiful will allow any man, no matter how much love she has for him , treat her like that.
 
There’s this other guy that I went to high school with, he was like 1 or 2 years ahead of me. This guy was from a much respected family, he was dating this girl who was really beautiful and soft spoken.
 
This guy was a real player with tons of women jostling for his attention. Aside the fact that he was a real playboy, he was on drugs and will, sometimes steal from his beautiful gentle girlfriend. It was obvious that the guy was going nowhere but down, yet this girl stuck to him like her life depended on it. They dated at least to my knowledge for about 8 years if not more.
 
He eventually dropped her as he did his several women one time or the other. I had wondered then why a lady will stay with a guy like that when it was obvious even to the blind that he had no ambition and was neither going to be useful to himself nor the society.
 
I have seen girls date guys who by any standard were not worthy of them or who we thought were unworthy of them and turn down guys we considered great guys because they are real gentlemen. This makes me wonder what a woman wants in a guy
 
I read in a magazine long time ago where a woman was recounting what happened between her and her husband at a salon. She said her husband asked her to do something that she didn’t do. She said he slapped her so hard that it threw her out of the chair she was sitting on watching TV at that time. She recounted the story with glee concluding that that was what she liked in her man, that he was a real man and not those softy that call themselves gentlemen.
 
Some said women take this kind of treatment from their guys because of the love they have for them others contend that women might take this from a guy if the sex is great, why would anyone want to be treated worse than an animal or is it that some women are so freaky they enjoy the beatings?

 

 

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